My reflections on the top 10 reasons for this block:
- My mind is too cluttered. I get up early every morning with the intention of writing as an entry to my day. I have fallen into the habit of checking my Twitter stream to read the latest and greatest from those I follow. Bottom line: I need to write "before" I read.
- Comparing myself to others. I feel like a little fish in a big sea. The more blogs and articles I read, the more I wonder if my writing contributes anything new or measures up. The irony is, I should write more to develop my voice and style.
- Does anyone really care about what I have to say? I don't write about anything unless I care deeply about it. The risk in sharing is that my deepest, most passionate convictions could be ignored. Which leads me to a deeper reflection: Who cares if they care?
- I need to use drafts more. Begin writing and edit later. There is no pressure to post immediately, yet I feel urgent as others seem to blog so often and I have chosen this "365" format.
- My potential audience has grown. I have over 500 followers on Twitter and I am finally brave enough to tweet when I blog. Granted, I only usually tweet once as to not annoy anyone. Translation: FEAR of FAILURE! Or maybe it's fear of a bad first impression. Once again, does everyone have to like me?
- I am in a "learning" mode lately.* I have discovered so many resources for integrating new practices in my teaching that I am "brain tired." ( *Yes, this is just an excuse, humor me, please!)
- Not every post has to be perfect. I am shocked that it took this long to use "that" dreaded word, perfect. Every post should be carefully edited, as I have little tolerance for poor grammar, spelling and passive voice. Does every post need to be perfect? What is perfect anyway?
- I am afraid to get into trouble. Sometimes I want to write about something school-related that I feel passionate about, but I am afraid that I might get myself fired for expressing my convictions. I need to critically examine this obstacle. Other teachers seem to be able to express convictions without this fear. I do have tenure, but am I prepared to be the sacrificial lamb if I speak up too strongly?
- I feel the need to finish what I start. Somewhat related to the earlier item about drafts, I need to be okay with writing something that doesn't lead to publishing. Sometimes brainstorming and pre-writing lead to other ideas that will be completed later. Some drafts are more like diary entries that are key for my understanding but not for all eyes to see.
- I have many varied interests. Now why would this be a barrier to writing? I suppose it's more about deciding "which" blog to post something on that holds me back at times. I am very interested in the cross-section between brain research, strengths, positive psychology and education. I teach kindergarten full-time but also coach/tutor students between the ages of 8 and 18. My experiences as a former therapist and foster care social worker have colored my view of working on strengths in kids, not deficits. Many people I talk to are interested in one of those areas but not all of them.
Everything that you said I agree with, but number eight really resonnates with me. There really is no precedent of a blogger being fired for writing what he/she feels passionate about...but I am cognizant of the fact that I blog on an EDUblog sponsored by my district. Does one put a disclaimer on it? I have only written a few things that are not book review related, and yet I feel myself become more and more bold. My one remaining thought, though, before I push SEND, is: who will read this and will it get me into trouble?
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more. I feel boxed in by what I can and can't say. I even had to delete much of this response...
DeleteThanks so much for sharing! My blogs are all independent from my school and district but I still feel like it doesn't take much to find me. I like the step of thinking: Who will read this and will it get me into trouble? Maybe this discussion will fuel my courage. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteJoan,
ReplyDeleteIn answer to number 3: I care about what you have to say and I always enjoy your reflections. You are a very deep thinker.
As to your question, "What is holding me back in my writing?" Well, let's just say I haven't even started my blog yet. Why not? I'm still trying to make sure it will be "perfect" and am also in a learning mode. I am sure that part of it is also because I, too, am afraid of failure. Thanks for making me reflect. Hopefully you have fueled MY courage.
Thanks so much Julie! Sometimes I am still that "shy kid" who thinks no one would want to hear my thoughts. Because of your great FB page I hadn't even realized that you don't have your own blog. I think of you as such a great resource and connector of people who talk meaningfully about literacy. I appreciate you reading and commenting on my posts. I look forward to your blog, when you are ready!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment and words of encouragement. I am glad you look forward to my blog, but I must warn you that my grammar needs work and grammar check often pops up with "passive voice." (#7) When this occurs, I do one of the following things: 1) I fix it, 2) I reword it, but it still comes up "passive," or 3) I am able to fix it, but I think the passive voice sounds fine so I just click "ignore." When this warning bothers me enough, I will do some research to figure out how to correct this. Until then, I hope you will have patience with passiveness.
ReplyDeleteI come from a family of struggling readers and spellers who have limited vocabularies and poor grammar skills. Thus, I have not been surrounded by great role models. (My husband grew up in Denmark, so I continue to be surrounded by those who struggle with the English language). You say you are the "shy kid" who thinks no one would want to hear your thoughts. Well, I am the intimidated kid, who worries that people will judge me by my grammar and limited vocabulary size. Perhaps this holds me back, but I don't think it holds me back by much. Once I start talking about teaching reading, I usually forget about my weaknesses and I can't be stopped.
Why did I share all of this? I really don't know. Although I haven't "known" you for that long, I feel that you are a very compassionate person who works hard to create peace in the world. I love your reflectiveness and feel blessed to have met you on-line. The world needs more people like you Joan.
P.S. Can you add a "notify me of replies to this comment" button so I can see future posts? I almost missed your reply because I was not notified.
P.P.S. "Passive" voice came up three times in this comment. Sorry, Joan. ;)
Julie,
ReplyDeleteI always appreciate the depth of your replies. I am constantly working on my "voice"; it's funny ( ironic) that as I helped my husband edit his Master's thesis last fall I kept on him for his passive voice and that has grown my own awareness! He is British and there is a style he learned that leads the reader in a journey to conclusions but doesn't state them so clearly. It's interesting!
I relate to what you said about how you "forget the weaknesses" when you write about what you care about. When I write about kids and education my voice becomes stronger and I don't really ruminate over its "lack of perfection."
Thank you also for the kind words. I will work on figuring out how to add the feature where you are notified of replies. I am still a novice in this blogging world. Thanks for making my day :-)
Hi Julie,
ReplyDeleteI'll reply to #10 about varied interests because I had the same question. A friend replied to my question with a question, "Have you thought about using different tags to label the topic?"
I hadn't realized there were tags, and displaying them in a tag cloud made it really easy for others to see what I wrote about, and for me to be as diverse as I needed.
I really like the transparency and depth of your post. Thanks for sharing with others because I believe many of us have similar road blocks.
Kind regards,
Tracy Watanabe